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JP: The Musical

by Savage and the Big Beat

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    A musical parody of the Michael Crichton novel and movie “Jurassic Park.”

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    http://jpthemusical.com
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1.
HAMMOND: When I was a lad... EVERYONE: Ooooooh. HAMMOND: I had a dream... EVERYONE: Oooooh. HAMMOND: Of a dinosaur park... EVERYONE: Oooooh. HAMMOND: Like you’ve never seen... (REPEATS TWICE) EVERYONE: Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park. Park. (REPEATS TWICE) EVERYONE: Jurassic. Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park. (REPEATS TWICE)
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EVERYONE: Ohhh. (REPEATS TWICE) GRANT: IT’S HARD BEING A PALEONTOLOGIST, CAUSE I’LL I DO IS LOOK FOR THINGS THAT EXISTED. PEOPLE TELL ME IM A SLOB. DIGGER: YOU’RE A SLOB! GRANT: AND THESE COMPUTERS WILL PUT ME OUT OF A JOB. ALL I WANNA DO IS DIG FOR DINOSAURS CAUSE THERE TOTALLY COOL. EVERYONE: OHH OHH GRANT: YEAH THERE TOTALLY COOL EVERYONE: OOH OHH OHH ELLIE: MY NAME IS ELLIE SATLER. I HELP DOCTOR GRANT GRANT: (TALKED) THAT’S ME! ELLIE: FIND THE BONES HE’S AFTER. PEOPLE SAY IM PALEOBOTANIST, AND I LOOK HOT IN THIS BUT GRANT DOES NOT WANT BABIES. GRANT: THEY SMELL! ELLIE: ALL I WANNA DO IS DIG FOR DINOSAURS. THERE TOTALLY COOL EVERYONE: OHH OHH ELLIE/GRANT: YEAH THERE TOTALLY COOL EVERYONE: OOH OHH OHH GRANT: HEY EVERYONE LOOK OVER HERE A VELOCIRAPTOR SKELETON. PRETTY NEAT HUH? YEAH IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A BIRD A BIRD OF PREY. KID: HAHAHA BIRD OF PREY? . MORE LIKE A SIX FOOT TURKEY GRANT: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? KID: I SAID IT LOOK JUST LIKE A SIX FOOT ... GRANT: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT VELOCIRAPTORS. THEY’LL ATTACK YOU BODY FROM THE SIDE RIP OUT YOUR ORGANS CUT OUT YOU EYES AND THE WORST PART IS YOU’LL BE ALIVE. YOU BE ALIVE. SO TRY TO SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT. OKAY?! KID: WHAHAH( CRYING)
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HAMMOND: NOW I HAVE AN ISLAND IF YOU HAVENT HEARD. ITS SORT OF A PARK. IF YOU WILL A RESERVE. OH THE ATTRACTIONS IVE MADE WILL DRIVE CHILDREN INSANE, BUT MY INVESTORS CAN BE QUITE A PAIN. OH THEY WANT OUTSIDE OPINIONS YOU SEE. YOU’RE THE TOP IN YOUR FIELD GRANT. ELLIE: DON’T FORGET ME HAMMOND: SHUT UP DEAR. AND ILL YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST ENDORSE . ENDORSE MY PARK. JUST LET MY PARK RUN ITS COURSE. ITS COURSE! ELLIE/ GRANT: AND ALL WILL GOTTA DO IS JUST ENDORSE MY DEAR SO OUR DIG CAN RUN FOR THREE MORE YEARS. MORE YEARS. AND OH OH I KNOW OUR LOVE IS TRUE, ALL THE TROUBLES WEVE BEEN THROUGH. OHHH. OH OH I KNOW OUR LOVE IS TRUE. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU. OHH
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EVERYONE: OHHH OHH OHHH OHHH DENNIS: BAD BAD DENNIS THAT’S ME HAWAIIAN SHIRTS AND I CAN BARELY EVERYONE: SEE DENNIS: I’M A HACKER EXTRAORDINAIRE. EVERYONE: WHO CARES? DENNIS: APPARENTLY NO ONE. NOT EVEN JON HAMMOND. HAMMOND. AND ALL I GOTTA DO IS STEAL THOSE EMBRYOS SO HAMMOND'S COMPANY CAN LOSE TOTAL CONTROL. HEY WHAT GIVES WHERES THE REST OF MY FEE? DODSON: WE’LL GET THAT TO YA WHEN YOU GIVE US WHAT WE NEED. DENNIS: A SNACK I REALLY NEED A SNACK SO JUST GET BACK BEFORE I HAVE A SNACK A SNACK ATTACK I REALLY NEED A STACK A STACK OF SNACKS . TWINKIE/ EVERYONE: A SNACK HE REALLY WANTS A SNACK SO JUST GET BACK BEFORE HE HAS A SNACK A SNACK ATTACK. HE REALLY WANTS A STACK A STACK OF SNACKS. DENNIS: OH HAMMOND YOU’RE A CLOWN , ILL SHUT YOUR SYSTEM DOWN AND TUNRN YOUR ENTIRE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN. DOWN. OH HAMMOND YOU’RE A CLOWN , ILL SHUT YOUR SYSTEM DOWN AND TURN YOUR ENTIRE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN. DOWN. HEHEHEHEHE.
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Welcome 02:04
GRANT: WHAT DO I SEE HOW CAN THIS BE? A BRONTOSAURUS EATING FROM A TREE. OF ALL OF THE THINGS I THOUGHT ID NEVER SEE. YOU HAD MADE THEM ALL A REALITY. GRANT/ ELLIE/ MALCOM: YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH WELL YOU’VE ACTUALLY DONE IT NOW SEE THE GALLIMIMUS RUN, HOW WAS ALL THIS EVEN DONE. HAMMOND: I GAVE THEM LIFE! GRANT/ ELLIE/MALCOM: HE GAVE THEM LIFE HAMMOND: I GAVE THEM LIFE! GRANT/ ELLIE/MALCOM: HE GAVE THEM LIFE GRANT: HOW DID YOU FIND DINOSAUR BLOOD? HAMMOND: WE FOUND IT THROUGH THE AMBER IN A BUG ELLIE: BUT DIDN’T THERE GENETIC CODE LEAD YOU ASTRAY. HAMMOND: WE FIXED THOSE GAPS WITH FROGS AND MR DNA MR DNA: DINOSAURS! GRANT/ ELLIE/ MALCOM: YOU CRAZY SON OF A BITCH WELL YOU’VE ACTUALLY DONE IT NOW SEE THE GALLIMIMUS RUN, HOW WAS ALL THIS EVEN DONE. HAMMOND: I GAVE THEM LIFE! GRANT/ ELLIE/MALCOM: HE GAVE THEM LIFE HAMMOND: I GAVE THEM LIFE! GRANT/ ELLIE/MALCOM: HE GAVE THEM LIFE
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RAPTORS: HES HUNTED THAT MULDOON: I HUNTED BEARS RAPTORS: HE HUNTED THAT MULDOON: IVE FELT A PUMAS HAIR. RAPTORS: OOHHH MULDOON: IVE HUNTED LIONS RAPTORS: HES HUNTED THAT MULDOON: I HUNTED BATS RAPTORS: HE HUNTED THAT MULDOON: IVE EVEN HUNTED MY OWN CAT. RAPTORS:OHHH OHH MULDOON: OH IVE EVEN HUNTED MY OWN CAT. (REPEAT TWICE)
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MALCOM : Jon this is the rape of the natural world. Cause mother nature said, the dinosaurs should be dead, but you brought them back to life. And now I know now I know, now I know, that you have just gone to far, chaos theory never lies. EVERYONE: IT NEVER LIES MALCOM: ohh chaos theory and Jon you don’t take any responsibility. Cause mother nature said the dinosaurs should be dead , and so should my wives. Im kidding now you know now you know now you know that you have just gone too far chaos theory never lies. EVERYONE: it never lies ohh chaos theory. Jon what are you doing with this power you've created. MALCOM: Chaos theory never. Chaos theory never. EVERYONE: Lies!
8.
TIMMY: OH DOCTOR GRANT I READ YOUR BOOK RECENTLY SADLY I HAVE TO DISAGREE WITH YOUR BIRD THEORY. I WAS TOLD A METEOR WAS THE CAUSE OF IT ALL. HAVE YOU READ BACKER? HE KNOWS WHAT HES TALKING ABOUT. LEX/TIMMY: DR. GRANT WE LOVE YOU THINKING OF YOU BE ARE DAD. AND IF WE SEEM ANNOYING IT’S CAUSE YOUR BORING BORING. BE OUR DAD. LEX: YOU SEEM SO NICE CAN I PLEASE RIDE WITH YOU. I THINK IT WOULD BENEFIT YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MY TOO. GRANT: WOW THAT’S DEEP LEX: YOU SEEM SO SCARED OF CHILDREN YOU UNAWARE HOW TO BE AFFECTIONATE . TRUST ME YOUR GIRLFRIEND CARES. GRANT: I DON’T WANT KIDS LEX/TIMMY: DR. GRANT WE LOVE YOU THINKING OF YOU BE ARE DAD. AND IF WE SEEM ANNOYING IT’S CAUSE YOUR BORING BORING. BE OUR DAD.
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GOAT : I TRIED TO WARN YOU ALL YOU DID NOT HEED MY CALL . IM GONNA DIE REAL SOON BAH HA. THE BEAST IS GETTING CLOSE ILL SOON BE HIS NEXT ROAST OHH IM GONNA DIE REAL SOON. AND NOW ITS TO LATE IM BEING PULLED TOWARDS MY FATE. AND NOW ITS TO LATE IM BEING PULLED TOWARDS MY FATE.
12.
TREX : WHO DARES DISTURB MY DINNER SO SUBERB YOU REALLY HAVE QUITE THE NERVE OH YOU OH YOU. YOUR YOUR GONNA GET IT. I CANT SEE WELL BUT YOU KNOW I CAN TELL THAT FLASH LIGHT WILL BE YOUR HELL OH YOU OH YOU YOU’RE YOUR GONNA GET IT. LEX TIMMY: TURN OFF THE LIGHT. TURN OF THE LIGHT. CAUSE THIS EVIL MONSTER HAS US IN HIS SIGHT. TREX: TURN OFF YOUR LIGHT EVERYONE: OHHH TREX: TURN OFF YOUR LIGHT CAUSE IM AN EVIL MONSTER AND IVE GOT YOU IN MY SIGHT. LAWYER: IVE WASTED MY LIFE , BEING A DECEITFUL LAWYER AS CROOKED AS A KNIFE. AND ALL BECAUSE I SAT ON THIS TOLIET. IVE WASTED MY LIFE. EVERYONE: HES WASTED HIS LIFE. LAYWER: IVE WASTED MY ... WHAHAHA EVERYONE: OHHH OHH TREX: IM GONNA SWALLOW YOU UP.. WHOA. IM GONNA SWALLOW YOU UP WHOA EVERYONE: OH NO A TERRIBLE TYRANNOSAUR HAS RUINED OUR LIVES A CURSED ARE DREAMS FOREVER MORE WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. ( REPEAT TWICE) EVERYONE: AND ILL WE GOTTA DO IS JUST SURVIVE THE NIGHT . AND TAKE THE FIRST HELICOPTER OUTTA HERE BY FIRST FLIGHT. (REPEAT TWICE)
13.
LDOON) MALCOM/ ELLIE: OH MR MULDOON YOU BETTER PUT IT IN 5TH GEAR CAUSE THIS DINOSAUR IS CLOSER THAN HE APPEARS MULDOON: WELL IM TRYIN TO DO IT! AND IM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN BUT THIS TYRANNOSAURUS HAS THE UPPER-HAND! MALCOM/ELLIE: MUST GO FASTER! GO FASTER! MULDOON: IM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN ! MALCOM/ELLIE: GO FASTER! GO FASTER! MULDOON: IM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN ! CAN! CAN! OH ( MUSIC BREAKDOWN) MALCOM/ELLIE: MUST GO FASTER! GO FASTER! MULDOON: IM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN ! MALCOM/ELLIE: GO FASTER! GO FASTER! MULDOON: IM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN! CAN! CAN!
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Ray's Rap 01:48
RAY: THE NAME IS RAY COMPUTER PROGRAMMER NO MORE SOON TO BE DEVOURED BY VICIOUS CARNIVORES. I TIRED TO REBOOT THE SYSTEM BUT THE SITUATION CAUSED MY DEATH. BAD WISDOM. WILL I SURVIVE THIS CAST YOUR BETS BUT IF YOUR ASKING ME ILL BE DYING WITH MY CIGARETTE. I NEVER HAD A WIFE. RAPTOR: OHH! RAY: I MADE COMPUTERS MY LIFE. RAPTORS: WERE GONNA EAT UP ALL YOU WERE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF YOU! WERE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF YOU! AND LEAVE JUST YOUR ARM YEAH. RAY: THEY’RE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF ME THEY’RE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF ME THEY’RE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF ME AND LEAVE JUST MY ARM . RAY: NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I SHOULD MENTION THESE RYHMES OF CODE ARE FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION RAPTOR: OHH ( ON THE WORD DIMENSION) RAY: ITS WHERE I BELONG FAR AWAY FROM THIS PLACE INTERNET IS MY SAVING GRACE RAPTORS: OH( ON THE WORD GRACE) RAY: AND DO I FEEL ASHAMED THAT I SHOULD BE MAMED AND RAVAGED BY THESE CREATURES UNTAMED? NAH MAN WHAT A WAY TO GO . RAPTORS/ RAY: NAH MAN WHAT A WAY TO GO! RAPTORS: WERE GONNA EAT UP ALL YOU WERE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF YOU! WERE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF YOU! AND LEAVE JUST YOUR ARM YEAH. RAY: THEY’RE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF ME THEY’RE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF ME THEY’RE GONNA EAT UP ALL OF ME AND LEAVE JUST MY ARM . RAY/ RAPTORS : WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA
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Oh, you clever girl I should have know That my cover was blown How could it end like this I'll pretend you don't exist I'll pretend you're not there You're clearly there All I wanted to do Was just murder you I forgot there would be two Oh, this isn't fair I'm so unaware That I won't be spared No, I've got to pull myself together For I am the greatest hunter currently alive As a matter of fact it was me who killed my own house cat And I took it to her with a bazooka All I've got to do is get this shot Oh my god my shaking Losing self confidence Well, at least she's not moving Damn she's starting moving again I can not miss this my friend Well at least I gave it a try Now it's time to die Please destroy me as fast as you can He said as his one demand Please destroy me as fast as you can He said in his final stand Please destroy me as fast as you can For I am the greatest hunter alive.
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RAPTORS NAH NAH NAH NAH (REPEAT 4 TIMES) MOMMA RAPTOR: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM ? RAPTORS: SHE IS THE SMARTEST RAPTOR ALIVE MOMMA RAPTOR: ARE YOU NOT SCARED TO DEATH? RAPTORS: OF COURSE YOU’RE THE SMARTEST RAPTOR ALIVE MOMMA RAPTOR: IM GOING TO EAT YOUR FACE AND THEN KILL THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. I WILL RULE THIS WORLD ONCE AGAIN RAPTORS: LETS MAKE A STEW AND PUT YOUR BROTHER IN IT TOO. AND THEN YOU WONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. OOH ( REPEAT TWICE.) RAPTOR: MOMMA RAPTORS GONNA GET TO YOU! (POTS AND PAN BREAKDOWN)
18.
Everyone: Oh we tried to lock the door, we couldn’t hold them back anymore Now were running out of time, they’re gonna turn us all to grime. How could we know to have left so long ago. Not only will we die but then they’ll multiply and eat us down to the bone. Grant: Nobody panic EVERYONE: AHH GRANT: everything is fine. I gotta gun to kill Hammond's design! Everyone: Sadly you’re unaware. Were out of bullets, and entering despair! Oh How could we know to have left so long ago. Not only will we die but then they’ll multiply and eat us down to the bone. Everyone And Ill we gotta do is just survive. Survive. Even if I can not stay alive. Alive. And Ill we gotta do is just survive. Survive. Even if I can not stay alive. Alive. GRANT/ ELLIE: AND OH OH I KNOW OUR LOVE IS TRUE, ALL THE TROUBLES WEVE BEEN THROUGH. OHHH. OH OH I KNOW OUR LOVE IS TRUE. I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU. TREX: DID YOU THINK ID FORGET? DID YOU THINK FORGET? NO IM JUST FASHIONABLY LATE TO THIS PREHISTORIC EVENT. (REPEAT TWICE) EVERYONE: OH NO A TERRIBLE TYRANNOSAUR. DOESN’T SEEM SO BAD ANYMORE. WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE. OH OH OH. OH NO A TERRIBLE TYRANNOSAUR. DOESN’T SEEM THAT BAD ANYMORE. WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE OH OH OH. AND ALL WE GOTTA WE GOTTA DO IS JUST SURVIVE THE NIGHT AND TAKE THE FIRST HELICOPTER OUTTA HERE BY FIRST FLIGHT. ( REPEAT TWICE) EVERYONE: OHH OHH OHHH OHHH ( LOTS OF OH) HAMMOND: WHEN I WAS A LAD I HAD A DREAM AND NOW THAT DREAM CAN NEVER BE. WHEN I WAS A LAD I HAD A DREAM AND NOW THAT DREAM CAN NEVER BE.
19.

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released April 9, 2011

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Savage and the Big Beat Denton

Savage and the Big Beat is a pop/indie rock band from Denton Texas. Featuring Max Brown on vocals and keys, Kyle Irion on guitar, and Tim Harman on drums, Savage plays high-tempo, up-beat music that sounds like the music you would listen to while storming a castle if you were really, really excited about it, like if you knew there were presents inside or something. ... more

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